funny sms / messages

Funny Sms/ Text messages

Browse through our Funny SMS Messages and send free Funny sms / poem / poetry / greetings to your friend, family or near and dear ones.

 

Is it true that the word STUDYING was derived from STUdents DYING?

Girl before finding her Love:
He should love me more & more everyday
He should never let me sad
He should always understand me
He should be perfect !!
After finding her boyfriend:
So what if he is not loving me unconditional, I understand & love him anyway
So what if he is sometimes makes me sad, that is ok, still he is the best for me!
So what if he is not fully understanding me, I will understand him
So what if he is not perfect, I am not perfect too!

He told me “Never say never!”
But he just said never….twice?

The Earth without the “art” part is just “Eh”.
and the Pleasure without the “plea” part is ….

Birdy birdy in the sky
Dropped a poopy in my eyes,
I do not worry I do not cry
I am just happy that cows don’t fly!
Finding you was not easy at all…
but it sure was worth the search!
Finally something worth it!!
Love You!

Exams are like girl friends
– difficult 2 understand
– too many questions
– more explanations are needed
And results are most of the time failure…

Never miss an opportunity to say “I love you” to someone you really really like say it directly or indirectly, coz it is not everyday you will meet the person who has the magic power to let you fall in love with.
Good Luck with finding the right person.

Kiss Is The Key Of Love,
Love Is The Lock Of Marriage,
Marriage Is The Box Of Children,
And too many Children means more Problem for the world
So Please Stop Kissing & Save the world for a while…

A Kid On His Way 2 Home With His Mom Saw A Couple Kissing On The Road,
He Suddenly Shouted & Said: Look Mom look, that boy and girl Are Fighting For A Chewing GUM.

Son: mom, when I was on the bus with my father this morning, he told me 2 give up my seat 2 a lady.
Mother: Well, you have done the right thing son.
Son: But mother, I was sitting on my father’s lap.
Mother: Whaaatttt!!!!!??

Have you ever thought that tears are more precious than Smiles ?
You may smile for anyone,
but you would not cry for any one unless that person really touched your heart….

Good Friends;
Real friends are those who care without hesitation,
who remember you without limitation,
who trustful without suspicion,
and who love even without communication.
…………..
Fake friends;
Laugh/mad on you without real reasons,
never remember you unless they need/use you,
never around when you need them.
…………..
So be careful how to choose your friends
and how to plan your future.
Good Luck.

LIFE is like a Book;
Each day you read a new page with adventures to experience,
Many lessons to learn and good deeds to replicate.
Have A VERY COLORFUL PAGE Everyday!

Man to a Lady In a Crowded mall: I have Lost My Wife, Will you Please talk to Me for A second
Lady: why?
Man: because whenever I Talk to Ladies She Appears From nowhere like a ghost…

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was:
You will never ever find anyone like me again in your life!
I am thinking, “I should hope not! If I do not want you, why would I want someone like you.

My Hands Never Have Pain
When Typing SMS For You,
But My Heart Always
In Pain When There Is No Reply For Me!.

Father : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not that much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.

When you feel neglected, just think of a female salmon who lays three million eggs, and nobody even remembers her on Mother’s day..?

When I die, I want 2 die peacefully like my Grandfather did in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car….

There was a very old man who was lying upstairs, dying.
Little jackie came in and said “Hi Grandpa”
“Hi little sweetie” he said. “tell me, are those Grandmas extra special cookies I smell?”
“Yes” Jackie replied.
“Do you think you can sneak downstairs and get a couple for me?”
“Sure” Jackie replied
In a few minutes, Little Jackie came back with a frown on his face.
Grandpa asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Grandma would not let me have any; she says they are for after the funeral.

Man to God: Please give me a long life.
God: Get married son.
Man: How will it help me God?
God: You will not think of long life ever again.

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match,All were busy writing except one student. He wrote “Unfortunately DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH”.

When I was born Devil said…Oh Shit!!! Another GOD!!!..And When you were born devil said …Oh Shit!!!!Competition…

Three Fastest means of communication
first : Tele-Phone
second : Tele-Vision
third : Tell-a-women
Need still faster?
Easy! just Tell her not to tell anyone.

We Do not Succeed In Our first Love!
Because We Lack Certain Qualites.
But…..
After Achieving Those Qualities,
We Never Love Again!

Telling a lie is
An Art for a lover
Fault for a little boy
an Accomplishment for a bachelor
And a Matter of survival for a married man.

Boy To Gym Coach: I Want to Impress Cute Girl I am Going to Meet In three Days, Which Machine Should I Use? . . . . . . . . .
Coach: Use The ATM Machine Outside The Gym!

U are a BITCH
Beautiful
Intelligent
Talented
Cute
Hilarious
r u smiling now?
?
?
?
YOU ARE REALLY BITCH

One Of The Best Quote,
Always have a
BACKUP
BEFORE
BREAKUP! :p

Funny Oxymoron’s:
(An oxymoron is usually defined as a phrase in which two words of contradictory meaning are brought together)
1) Clearly misunderstood
2) Exact Estimate
3) Small Crowd
4) Act Naturally
5) Found Missing
6) Fully Empty
7) Pretty ugly
8) Seriously funny
9) Only choice
10) Original copies
&
the Mother of all
11) Happily Married

2 Guys coming out of the examination Hall with chips and coke in hands….
1st guy:which paper was it?
2nd guy:I think maths……
1st guy:(surprisingly) you read the question paper?
2nd guy: no I see a girl sitting besides me using calculator

Employer: In this job we need someone who is responsible.
Applicant: I’m the one you want.
On my last job, every time anything went wrong,
they said I was responsible.

Give me some SunShine..!!!
Give me some Rain..!!
Give me another Girlfriend..!!
I am Single once again..!!

143 means?
Do u want to know
what it means?
Press Down
It means
ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY THREE.
Tomorrow I will teach u 144.

A very old lady teacher of English
ask this question with the class:
When I say “I am beautiful”, which tense is it?
One pupil answered: Its the past tense of course.

Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream
That u were sending me
Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw
your dad paying the bill !!!

Boy1:Meet my wife Tina
Boy2.Oh! I know her
Boy1:How?
Boy2:v were caught sleeping together
Boy1:What the hell?
Boy2.during lecture in maths class
Think +ve:)
Tomorrow exam’s cheat today!

Best Reply Ever By a Girl
When She Is Asked For a Kiss
By Her Boyfriend
Just do it :p

What is the perfect example
of both Good & Bad Luck?
The naughty wind blows the girl’s skirt high (Good luck)
but at the same time
Dust falls into the boy’s eyes (Bad luck)
As per research
A man speaks 25,000 words daily
&
A woman speaks 30,000
Problem starts when husband comes home
from office after consuming his 25,000 words
&
wife starts her 30,000..

Some people ask the secret
of our long marriage.
We take time to go to a restaurant
two times a week.
A little candlelight, dinner, soft music
and dancing.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

He said… Do u love me just coz
my father left me a fortune?
She said… No stupid, I’d love u no matter
who left you the money!

Specially dedicated to boys:
A kiss is like a stamp,
Once u stamp a gal,
she wouldn’t go anywhere else

Why love marriage
is better than arranged???
Because
“A KNOWN DEVIL
IS BETTER THAN
AN UNKNOWN GHOST”
Most and least romantic rhymes

A Poetry Competition asked For A 2-Line
Rhyme With d Most Romantic 1st Line &
the Least Romantic 2nd Line

My darling, My Love,My Beautiful Wife
Marrying U Ruined,My Whole Life
I c Ur Face When I m Dreaming
That’s Why I Always Wake Up Screaming
Kind Intelligent, Loving & Hot
This Describes Everything You r Not
I Love Ur Smile, Ur Face & Ur Eyes
Damn, I’m V Good At Telling Lies
Its A Humble Request
“80% Of Teachers r
Suffering From Throat
Pain By Teaching Students.”
So Plz
BUNK d Classes As Much
As Possible
n
Save Our Teachers

When u feel sad….
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
“damn I am really so cute”
u will overcome your sadness.
But don’t make this a habit…..
Coz liars go to hell !!!!

Husband:u will never succeed
in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it’s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

Hey friend remember that
without stupidity there can be no wisdom
& without ugliness there can be no beauty
so the world needs YOU after all!

Human brain is the most
outstanding object in world.
It functions 24 hours a day,
365 days a year.
It functions right from the time we are born,
and stop only when we enter the examination hall.

Any man who can drive safely
while kissing a pretty girl
is simply not giving the kiss
the attention it deserves.

2 MEN TALKING
1st:
I am getting married because
I am tired of eating out,
cleaning house & doing laundry
2nd:
Strange,
I am taking divorce for same reasons!

Husband texts to wife on cell..
“Hi,what r u doing Darling?”
Wife: I’m dying..!
Husband jumps with joy but types “Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?”
Wife: “U idiot! I’m dying my hair..”
Husband: “Bloody English Language!

A Husband & Wife Were
Arguing Over Some Issue.
After Much Of Discussion,Wife Finally Said:
“Tell Me Dear ,
Do You Want To Win
OR
Do You Want To Be Happy . . ?
Argument Ended

1 day u’ll B srprisd 2 c ME beside U.
U & ME laughing,
U & ME crying,
U & ME dreaming,
U & ME holding on,
U & ME…
just U & ME sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING U.

Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
“can kids of our age have kids?”
Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”
Boy said to girl :
“see i told you not to worry!!!!”.

Our friendship means a lot to me.
U cry i cry.
U laugh i laugh.
U jump out of the window
I look down & then
.
.
.
I laugh again

SILENCE
Is d best Answer
for all questions
SMILE
Is d best Reaction
in all situations
Unfortunately
BOTH Never Help In
any EXAM, REVIEW & INTERVIEW :P:)

A Husband said to his wife One day
“I don’t know how you can be so stupid
&
so beautiful all at the same time”
The wife responded ,
“Allow me to explain,
God made me beautiful
so you would be attracted to me ;
God made me stupid
so I would be attracted to you !”

An elderly husband and wife visit their doctor
when they begin forgetting little things.
Their doctor tells them that many people
find it useful to write themselves little notes.
When they get home, the wife says,
“Dear, will you please go to the kitchen
and get me a dish of ice cream?
And maybe write that down so you won’t forget?”
“Nonsense,” says the husband,
“I can remember a dish of ice cream.”
“Well,” says the wife, “I’d also like some
strawberries and whipped cream on it.”
“My memory’s not all that bad,
” says the husband. “No problem — a dish of ice cream
with strawberries and whipped cream.
I don’t need to write it down.”
He goes into the kitchen;
his wife hears pots and pans banging around.
The husband finally emerges from the kitchen
and presents his wife with a plate of bacon and eggs.
She looks at the plate and asks,
“Hey, where’s the toast I asked for?”